How to Get Rich Fast

I am no Steve Jobs or Bill Gates.  I do not own a company nor am i CEO of a multi-billion dollar business.  So it’s up to you if you want to continue reading or not.

Irene Mejer’s tips on getting rich fast!

1.  Marry someone rich.  When i say someone rich, it has to be the complete package.  Brains and business savvy.  You do not want to be left a pauper when the parents die or when the business goes bankrupt because of poor business planning, right?  Never mind if the person is short on the looks category, doesn’t have the 6 pack that you so crave for – those things are pretty much easy to achieve when you have the money.  They say, “mahirap na lg ang pangit sa panahon ngayon.”  How do you get to marry one by the way?  I do not know.  I guess you need to socialize with the upper class socialites to hook up with one.  Go to the “alta” places that they frequently go to.  Skip the bars or the clubs, take up an expensive hobby instead, like Polo, Squash (well, only the rich appreciates Squash), or be an Equestrian?  Hang out at the Manila Polo Club and the Manila Yacht Club.  Go to Europe as if you’re just going to Cubao.  Those kind of things.  Or, you can just marry an old man who’s extremely rich – the one who lives abroad, and wait until he expires. Just make sure that there’s no pre nuptial agreement involved, otherwise you’ll just be his “yaya” instead of a rich wife.

2.  Be a drug or gambling lord.  This is easy money.  But needs further research on how to do it effectively.  I guess you’ll be needing a runner, a lot of connections and a legal business that will serve as a front for all the illegal activities that you plan to do.  Well, all my sources are the Mafia books that i had the opportunity of reading.  They make it look so easy – these books.  One thing i am certain of is that  you need protection and a lot of grease money to pay off people.  But, you will be really rich!

3.  Put up a church, a cult or a religion.  You have to have the gift of gab in order to pull this one off – ala Hitler.  You have to have the charisma to charm people into believing that you have a direct access to a higher being.  I do not know how cults are started, but a lot of people are gullible especially those who has lost hope.  Give them hope and they are your followers,  allow to them to dream and they are yours.  Seriously, some people are willing to die for a cause.  Make your cause something that you know will never be addressed with in this lifetime, like Judas being actually a saint instead of a sinner – etc. etc.

Have i done any of these?  Unfortunately, no.  I missed my chance of marrying someone rich.  I cannot be a drug and gambling lord for i do not have the right connections, and unfortunately i do not have the required charisma to start a cult.  I guess i will just try my luck on the lottery – which is by the way,  tip no 4!


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