Raining on my parade.

I don’t like rain.  I know the earth needs rain – but rain for me represents sadness, loneliness.  My gloom is rain.

As a child I used to wait for rain, lots of rain.  Torrential rain, when the skies emit lightning and the booming sound of thunder –  my cue to go out and dance in the rain and sing to my heart’s content because no one would hear me.  My favorite song to sing back then was “Heaven is a place on Earth”.  This i will sing until the rain stops.  I usually end up with a cold  – but i was happy so it really doesn’t matter.

I still danced in the rain while working for a car company.  I was 22.  That was the last time i can ever remember associating rain with happiness.

Not to be melodramatic about it, on the eve of my 32nd birthday – the great typhoon Ondoy came.  It rained for hours and flooded the whole of Metro Manila including the area that i was living in Makati – except my street.

The idea of stepping my shoes on a flooded street is irritating to me.  And i blame the rain for it not the corrupt government officials who happened to ignore the importance of a proper drainage system.  (This of course is the fault of the corrupt politicians.)  Even that defunct Milli Vanilli band who just lip sync “Blame it on the Rain” – I blame.

Rain pouring on my windshield with the stereo playing some mushy song reminds me of broken hearts and buckets of tears.  Above all rain reminds me that i do not have someone to share an umbrella with, that all those cheesy commercials about coffee products particularly Nescafe excludes me because even if i have a cup of coffee in hand- its warmth is not enough and yet I am still hooked on coffee.

And rain makes me write something as senseless as this.  And oh rain does ruin a parade.  I could rant on and on about how much i hate it when it rains.

Rain reminds me that i have to go through rain in order for me to see my rainbow.  And that sucks.

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