I promised myself years ago that never again will i invest too much of my time and emotion on one particular person. Over the years, i have learned to divest. And over the years, i have never truly felt something worth fighting for. Now i am scared that i may not be capable of feeling those emotions again.
Because i have convinced myself that i can take care of me, i do not see the reason and need for another person in my life. Three’s a crowd. And i am not into crowds.
My question is this. Am i slowly turning into a would be cranky old lady? Will i be alone for the rest of my life? Because i have learned to divest, i can no longer discern real feelings from the pretend feelings. In the process of divesting, I have seemed to have mastered the art of pretending.
How to know if it’s the real thing? Or am I just simply going through the motions?