Confessions Part Two – My Facebook Addiction

Nah! I will not start with that line again.  The one that goes: Hi, my name is Irene, and I am a facebook addict.

I started using facebook because of someone i used to know – used to, because he was the main reason I joined facebook.  Used to, because currently he’s on my blocked list and me on his.  Facebook was a tool for  us to communicate.  It was also the reason why we sort of drifted apart.  You know what I mean by this don’t you?  This is the exact moment wherein you started looking at pictures, old pictures, tagged pictures, statuses and the rest of his friends list, even those innocent comments he posted on a friend’s status or wall, until you’d find something worth fussing about.  That’s what you call facebook stalking.  If you are in a relationship it is better if you are not friends on fb, it causes a lot of trouble, more trouble that it ought to be.  Because of the time difference, i used to stay up so late waiting for him to go online.  My morning ritual starts with facebook.  In short my facebook addiction started because of a boy.  “A boy”  because, he’s that, a boy disguised as a man.  But this is not about him, so let’s move along.

There is always something to do on facebook.  When you’re bored, sad or happy, facebook is what keeps you company.  And the games are pretty cool.  The only problem with facebook is that it is an occupational hazard!  Meaning, your party pictures doesn’t need to be seen by your superiors, your peers and anyone you have business dealings with, otherwise you’re good as being branded as “that girl”, the term usually has a lot of negative connotations.  You do know how pictures are, they can be very deceiving.   Your tagged party pictures are a deal breaker in relationships as well.  The funniest thing about the fb fever is when you go to parties and you take out your camera and someone would say : “oops, don’t tag me in your pictures ha!”.  This usually is a reason for to me to raise an eyebrow, because you see, I am inherently paranoid.  I over analyze certain things and individuals, and this would usually arouse my curiosity.  Why?  Why no tagging?  You got something to hide?  Of course, it’s rude to tag if they asked you not to, so you don’t.  Then you start digging.  Like a private investigator.  I am so good at this, sometimes i think i picked the wrong field.  My friends are good at investigating too, they’ve got PhD’s.  And facebook, being facebook, you will always find something.

There is also this issue about your “statuses”.  Sometimes, people read too much into it.  It is always fun reading someone else’s thoughts, funnier still if you are on the same wavelength and you start to discuss about certain issues with sense or not.  Facebook is supposed to be fun, and not to be taken seriously.  I tried to check all my older posts since i joined fb, there were a lot!  As in a lot!  Some of them made sense, others don’t.  Some people who I don’t get to see often would usually approach me and ask how I was, because apparently I am so EMO on fb!  That is the point.  And that is the reason why i got addicted to it in the first place.  Well, after me and that boy drifted apart.  I can vent here, and the best part is, someone out there can relate to what I am currently feeling.  It does not make you feel alone in this vast universe.  But my posts doesn’t define who I am.  Nor does it define those people who posted their comments.  It is addictive, because it makes you feel good about yourself, knowing that you are being heard.

Maybe it’s about the games, maybe it’s about building and rebuilding connections, maybe your addiction started because of a certain boy.  Or maybe it is about the need to be heard, it really doesn’t matter.  What is important is that at some point facebook meets your needs.  But one should know that too much of anything is never good , for anyone.  You cannot spend your entire day staring at the computer screen and waiting for your friends to go online.  It is just a tool for recreation, you need to create something first  before you “recreate”.  And creating something requires you to stand up, and click the shut down button of your computer, otherwise your waist and hips will expand which would lead you into another addiction – your weight.  The equation is this:  too much facebook = weight gain = depression = too much facebook.  It is a loop.  Like the RAAS feedback mechanism, so you need a receptor – find your receptor and hold onto it.

I found mine on a two-way street, i am not sure if I am going to lose it on a lonely highway though.

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